After all these years you'd think I would give up the hope that some woman or man out there would say, "Wow, you are mine there is no doubt about it." Being adopted is something you always live with, because most states have closed records. I was hoping with the age of computers that if, perhaps there was someone out there looking, like I would be if I had given up a child, that there would be a bit of a hope they may find me. What is with this culture, that kids are relinquished and never sought after again?

I have a very healthy ego, I do not know why, it has indeed been an enigma to me in most of my adult life. For most of my adolescent years, I suffered from extreme shyness, and the abominable blushing that would make me want to suction quickly into a mole hole. I still blush, but it is mostly in passing. And, who the hell cares?

"A Child Waits..."
In my local paper three children need a home, they are Beverly, Clarence, and Danny, three beautiful siblings.

Already, I feel I know them, want them, and would try, if the system were not so difficult, to adopt. We have already tried to adopt in the MN system and it was always a no, they would give a child to a couple, especially one with no children. I will keep them in my heart and hope if fate intervenes, they could join this happy farm, this happy family.

hugs and good night.
n.

We have eight horses and to never have had one colic is pretty amazing. But, our newest addition, Hannah, had come close to getting compacted. Because of the amazing world of the internet, I quickly googled for equine colic. After reading the first two articles, I quickly called our vet and she was out in a half hour. Hannah was not eating or drinking, she would attempt like she wanted to eat, then she would stop. Well the articles said to take away all food until the vet makes a diagnosis. The doctor gave her an anti-inflamitory, and a shot to calm her, put her hand up her rectum and pulled out manure. (I know this is graphic but this really happened). She examined it and said it was good we called because she was close to becoming impacted. The grass in the paddock is all dried up and this was not good for them. So, Hannah then had a hose put in her nostril and pushed down her neck into her stomach (amazing). A mix of oil and water was pumped into her stomach. Within a short time she was back to her old self. However, in the midst of observing this procedure on Hannah, I heard a rush of dogs escaping from the house. My dog Reilly, the Golden who was with me in the barn decided to go back in and he opened the front door and let all the other dogs out. I had to rush to the car and try to find them in the dark and after a drive around their usual haunts I returned and heard their collars clanking in the dark. I yelled for them and they all jumped in for the ride back home.

I was still running on adrenalin when I finally came in to eat about l0 p.m. So, it took me a while to wind down. I did one more check in the barn, and found them all peaceful and munching. I filled up the water buckets and said my good nights. Well, it felt like a week, after that one night. I rested the next day and feel much more like myself now.

I'm sure people wonder why we have so many animals, but it seems they keep finding us. Hannah found us from my volunteering for the riding for the disabled. She had jumped a split rail to be with some other mares and she hurt her leg and was supposed to be lame for life. I couldn't help myself when they said she needed a home. She limped into her stall the first time she arrived and then she healed so rapidly, it was dubbed a miracle. I think it was her running with the herd that brought her back. Before she was standing still in a muddy paddock, not moving much. As all my children grow up and leave the nest I keep saying I am trying to downsize, but Hannah needed us and we had the space. She is a loving, gentle horse and my daughter's gelding Luke is quite smitten with her. He even lets her in his stall to dine together...quite the couple! Speaking of couples, my husband and I are celebrating our 2lst anniversary tonight and I am going to say good bye and get on some party clothes! Have a great weekend all you party animals!

n.

"Wet Paint" signs always egg me on to touch them. "Wash Me" finger painted on my dirty car tends to remain untouched. So, I thought I'd test a catchy Message Title and see the results. Do you tend to read the catchier titles?

Well, let's see, summer is almost over. My oldest began his first year of college just today. My daughters are about to return to high school as I drop into an upbeat rendition of "Happy Days are Here Again" and "The Sounds of Silence". Maybe I can devote more time to my writing and painting. Anyone who says parenting is not a full time job, doesn't know what they are talking about. My youngest seems to be the most challenging, to no fault of her own, just dealing with what life has thrown her way. My middle child was the most trouble all her life, until a hormone adjustment turned her around. The dogs, all five of them were less challenging. Now my husband at mid-life, has turned into our greatest challenge. Granted, he is quite the saint to put up with all of us. If only he could unspiral long enough to relax, maybe we all could. They used to have a name for this "mid-life crisis" now I think it is "Adult Male Hypertension Disorder" or AMHD. That's all we need, one more label.

So, now you know why I am walking around with "Read Me" printed on my blog. Yes, I am seeking out some much needed pity or maybe I'm just pitiful. Alright, I'll stop whining and seek advice, instead. Well, at least the summer is almost over...do you READ ME?? (I think I'll go wash my car)

n.

I am so unimaginative, as far as posting beyond my writings, my thoughts. Everyone out there has all these great videos and music and bada bling...writing used to just do it for me. Of course, I am quite picky and the writing has to be engaging, at the least...But, I am really beginning to love the bada bling. Words, however, when put to the pace and engage me with their own uniqueness, do more for me then the music and the videos, I must admit.

I really am from the writerly school of "short and sweet", to tell it all. I was in a writing profession where this was our only course...ala, Reader's Digest, only with class. (We thought so anyway). Television was my career for only a short stint, 13 years. It was short, in comparison to many of my peers and those that excelled above me in the industry. I met my husband in my 13th year and off we went looking for jobs and adventure outside of NYC. It took us to CA first, and what an eye opener after NY. People actually smile ALL DAY IN CA! What a shock to see people say "hello" on the streets, in parking lots, on the beach, etc., of course, there was a marked difference between southern CA and northern...those smiles turned to frowns in the fog and cold in the north.

So, to be a writerly type, short and sweet, with a little bada bling at this senior moment, might just send me. No telling how high this might just be but, even just for a moment to be able to sail through the clouds with even just one of my readers will be enough bada bling for me, 'cause I always like my words, my thoughts, my message to be short and sweet. I have also been known to ramble on about this, so stop me if you can, just switch to another blog!

Hugs,
n.

Messing up
fixing
Again to rise
a home run
no fixing
a cheer from the grandstand

Staying the course
my sails sometimes flutter
fixing
Again to rise
and fall
on the waves

Where is my strength
when I lose it?
in limbo, like before a storm
did I ever really have it?
so elusive this
will

This spirit

n.